Vic Lima, he with the big voice but without wit and depth

Vic Lima was out most of last week, leaving Karen Davila to man the board all by her lonesome…rather to her relief, being spared of Vic’s flat jokes and off-tangent comments. But Vic is back – and with a vengeance. He must have thought up many “jokes” during his off days last week for he went to town with them this week.

He is not yet done with his off-color puns he draws from the story of a man who raped a cow. He rattled off a number of cow-based puns like cownapping the other week.
A field reporter was reporting on the recall proceedings on Bulacan governor Sy-Alvarado. From out of the blue Vic asked if the cow has moved on. The reporter, not onto Vic’s jokes about it the other week, did not respond. So, Vic explained by way of expanding his question to if the cow raped by a man has moved on. Adding that the man had done the sordid act before, he referred to him as a “pet lover.” Then he said those contesting the election of Sy-Alvarado might just be “nag baka-sakali.”

In the news portion of DZMM’s Teleradyo Sais Trenta last Tuesday, he joked about the girder that crashed on Andrews Road near the airport. He called it “girdle”. The difference between Bernadette Sembrano, Vic’s co-anchor in the news program, and Karen is that Bernadette just ignores Vic’s flat jokes while Karen says of them “That’s a good one,” or “That’s cute.” In the commentary portion, he struggled, stammering and rambling as Karen was hosting her new talk show, 3 in 1, in the other channelat the same time. He squeezed in his joke that Makati is now called C 2 because it has two mayors.

Karen joined him Wednesday. Karen cited former Comelec chair Sixto Brillantes’ opinion that the Court of Appeals TRO on the Ombudsman’s suspension of Junjun should prevail because Kid Pena, while he had sworn as Acting Mayor, he didn’t assume office as Acting Mayor. Vic expresses agreement. Then a listener of the program texted Sen. Miriam Santiago’s opinion which was that based on a Supreme Court ruling some years back a suspension order that has been served cannot be negated by a TRO. Vic expressed agreement. That is what Vic does most of the time. He expresses agreement to whatever Karen asserts emphatically. If Karen does not sound firm about her position, Vic expresses a dissenting opinion but then follows it up with “I don’t know, I may be wrong.” Vic should just say “I don’t know” for he really does not have a grasp of issues of national import. He is knowledgeable of only police matters and traffic problem.

Vic repeated his joke Makati being called C 2. Karen said, “That’s cute.” Out of the blue, he said, “There would be no problem if you don’t steal one’s seat.” Obviously, he wanted to talk about the Melissa Mendez incident, maybe to squeeze in his “joke” about the smell of Melissa’ breath. He referred to Melissa’s mouth as “beer brewery.” Karen accommodated the subject by saying that Gabriela should not defend Melissa just because she is a woman. Vic responds by saying “not if a man slaps a woman.” Karen asked, Why, who slapped whom? Vic answered, “Melissa did.”

Karen asked Vic to talk about politics and mentioned Duterte. Vic informed Karen that Rodrigo Duterte is not running because he is too old. Karen asked Vic how old Duterte is. Vic answered, the most beautiful number “69.” Then Vic brought up the retired generals call for Panfilo Lacson and Grace Poe to run as running mates in 2016. Vic said it is going to be a Ping-Poe tandem. The discussion shifted to Erap Estrada. Karen said Fidel Ramos was elected president by a plurality vote while Erap was elected by a majority vote. Explaining what she meant by plurality vote, Karen said that in 1992 there were many candidates for president: Ramos, Miriam, Danding, and Imelda. Ramos won because he had the hhighest number of votes, but less than the majority. Vic remarked “Tinalo lahat ni Erap.” Erap run for vice president in 1992.

At the end of his segment last Monday, Vic quipped “God is good.” No, it is Gabby (Lopez) who is good for keeping him in ABS-CBN as he has only a big voice but no grasp of issues other than vehicular traffic and street crime and has no wit.

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